Similarities between a Bee and a Peanut
by Dancingdog
Summary: Just a few (un)related drabbles between Prowl and Bumblebee. Based off sketches from Jeff Dunham.
1. Coffee argument

"What is wrong with you today?" Snapped Prowl. "Too much Costa. Coffee, coffee, coffee." Joked Bumblebee.

They were at it again. Prowl arguing with Bumblebee about how insane and immature he was and Bumblebee was getting on Prowl's last circuits by throwing it back in his face and making it a joke. Usually Bumblebee would have shouted more, but he was determined to make the motorcycle laugh or at least smile, so he tried to keep calm.

"You can't drink human liquids! It damages your engine!" Argued Prowl. Bumblebee sighed. "Alright, I admit it. It was crack." "No. You can't have, because you would have been sick from the content and have you been sick? I don't think so." Groaned Prowl. "Well then you did!" Smiled Bumblebee. "No!" Shouted Prowl. Bumblebee raised one optic ridge. "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Well it feels like one of us did." Concluded Bumblebee. "Did you do crack before I came in?" Asked Bumblebee. Prowl sighed for the umpteenth time that day. "No." "When I came in?" "No." "After I came in?" "No!" Shouted Prowl. "Then when?" Questioned Bumblebee. "Never!" Answered Prowl. "What?" "I've NEVER done crack!" Bumblebee hesitated to think of a new approach. "Are you sure?" "Yes." Confirmed Prowl. "Are you lying?" "No." "See how angry you are?" "Yes." "IT'S THE CRACK!" Squeaked Bumblebee.

"Get it into your thick processor that I don't abuse drugs!" Hissed Prowl. "Okay." Replied Bumblebee with a sly laugh at the end. Prowl drooped his head, clearly getting tired with the conversation.

"Okay, okay. But you've got to admit to smoking. I mean, you may be a ninja, but even you're not perfect." Tried Bumblebee. "No. I don't smoke." Stated Prowl. "You've never smoked?" "Never." "Not even a little." "No." "Never done drugs?" "No." "Then how the heck did you become friends with me?!"

Prowl smiled a little as a chuckle threatened to leave his vocalizer, but he soon caught himself and his emotionless mask slid back into place. However the smile did not go unnoticed by Bumblebee.

"Try telling yourself for once that you're not always right and that I don't abuse drugs." Said Prowl flatly. "Alright. Prowl does not do drugs." Stated Bumblebee whilst pouting a little. Prowl relaxed. "I didn't mean it literally. But thank you." Prowl turned to go to his quarters. When he was halfway down the corridor, he heard a shout from Bumblebee. "He's an alcoholic!"


	2. Traffic reports

Traffic reports The base was empty as every member of the crew was doing something. Ratchet and Prime were doing odd jobs around the city, Bulkhead and Sari were working on Bulkhead's painting skills and Jazz was watching the humans, hoping to learn a few human customs and a little more about their culture. The screeching of tires meant the arrival of Prowl and Bumblebee from their trip back home from Dinobot Island. Moaning also meant the arrival of Bumblebee's mouth.

"Ughhhh. Worst. Trip. Ever." Complained Bumblebee. "It wasn't that bad." Commented Prowl. "Ugh, yeahhhh, it was." Groaned Bumblebee. "I thought that Dinobot Island was pretty peaceful, for once." Stated Prowl. "Yeah. Well you would, nature boy. And anyway, I'm not talking about the pwitty wood." Moaned a sarcastic Bumblebee. "I'm talking about the drive back here! Sucked!" Prowl hesitated a moment to think. "I guess it did..." "Huh. As in the left turn onto the right drive in the left valley on the what the heck?! Thank goodness I turned on the radio for us so we could listen to the traffic report." Laughed Bumblebee. Prowl arched an optic ridge. "How much good did that do us?" "None what so ever!" Yelled Bumblebee. "I hate the traffic reports, always have and always will. They're the same as they were on Cybertron! Why don't they let me do the traffic reports? I would save everyone a lot of time and money." "Alright." Replied Prowl.

"Hey Bumblebee, it's eight o'clock in the morning, there's a lot of traffic, what's going on?" Bumblebee asked himself to prove a point to Prowl. This was followed straight after by: "IT'S EIGHT O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING YOU MORON! EVERYONE LEFT THE HOUSE AT THE SAME TIME! CALL ME BACK AT FIVE THIRTY AND I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY THE SAME THING, ONLY QUESS WHAT?! THEY'RE GOING THE OTHER WAY!" He answered himself.

Prowl tried to stifle a laugh at Bumblebee's tone. He'd never seen the yellow compact so annoyed! Not to mention that Bumblebee was actually VERY funny when he wasn't trying to be, even though Prowl never laughed at Bumblebee's jokes, he found Bumblebee to be quite entertaining at times.

"You know what else got me annoyed today?" Bumblebee hissed. "No, what?" Prowl asked. "Well, when you were having your jolly stroll around the woods, I was getting devoured by dirt, mud and green stuff. And when I tried contacting you via the comm. link, I couldn't!" Shouted the flustered speed demon. "Having trouble?" Smirked Prowl. "Just like the stinking 'phone' commercials; 'Can you hear me now? How about now? Now-n-now-now-now-now-now?'" Bumblebee said the last part so quickly and childish that Prowl was actually frightened of speaking in case he upset the Beetle by laughing at him. "You know what I've never seen in those adverts?" Asked Bumblebee. "What?" Smiled Prowl. "THE OTHER END OF THE CONVERSATION! 'u...bu...ah...w...ha...'" Bumblebee imitated interference then made a static noise at the end. "What a piece of-"

Prowl just couldn't hold it in any longer. He snickered and held his head in his hands, embarrassed of what Bumblebee would say to him next. To his surprise, Bumblebee didn't say anything. Instead, he stopped what he was doing and stared at Prowl with a grin adorning his faceplate.

Prowl glanced up to Bumblebee with a confused look planted on his faceplate.

"What?" Prowl asked. "You laughed." Bumblebee smiled, obviously pleased with himself. "Yeah. So?" Prowl asked confused, yet wearing a small smile. "You never laugh." Replied Bumblebee. Prowl rolled his optics.

Suddenly, without warning, Bumblebee transformed into a car and sped in circles around Prowl and the rest of the base, all the while shouting: "THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIIIIIFE!"


	3. Jalapeno Peppers

The Autobot base was full of laughter. Except for Bumblebee. He was the reason for the laughter. And he was not a happy bunny.

"Should I even ask yo how ya got like that?" smirked Jazz in his usual cool voice.

"Do we even want to know?" laughed Optimus.

Sari, who had been there while the whole incident occurred, was now lying on the floor on her back, in stitches. "Bumblebee... paintball... permanent... kid's contest..." she wheezed with laughter, not fully being able to form the sentence.

Bumblebee had a scowl that was increasing in size after every laugh made by his teammates. The story had gone as follows: Bumblebee had taken Sari for a ride around town. He had stumbled across a paint-balling contest for children. Pretty simple. However, being Bumblebee, he was curious as to what the guns actually did. This resulted in him splattering himself in green paint. The children who saw this occur, thought he was a target in the game and started to splatter him in green PERMANENT paint. Now Bumblebee sported a brand new green colour scheme that coated him from head to foot. And to top all of this off, his pride was getting largely damaged.

"Hey, don't worry little buddy! Maybe this will be a good step up in life!" commented Bulkhead. "Yeah. Like maybe the Elite guard will believe that he and wasp are brothers and we'll be able to get rid of two nut jobs!" smiled Ratchet.

Sari looked up at Bumblebee whilst trying to calm down, only to burst into hysteria when stating "You look like a giant Jalapeno pepper!"

Bumblebee gazed around the room hoping to find some supportive comments when he spotted Prowl, who was not laughing, only looking curiously at him.

Ratchet saw Bumblebee's desperate face and felt sorry for him. "Okay kid, I think you've been tortured enough. Let's see if I can find something to remove that paint."

This was when Prowl spoke up. "Maybe I can assist you?"

Ratchet had gone to his quarters to go and find some equipment to remove the paint, leaving Bumblebee and Prowl alone. "Thanks for not laughing." Muttered Bumblebee. Prowl glanced upwards to Bumblebee who was sitting on a medical berth. "No problem."

A tense silence filled the room when Prowl suddenly said; "I've heard that a jalapeno is a spicy pepper humans use to make a variety of foods." Bumblebee didn't know what to say to that so changed the subject. "I wanted to just melt away back there. That was so embarrassing; I thought I was going to faint." A smirk formed on Prowl's faceplate as an idea passed through his processor. This was one look Bumblebee did not like.

"Hey, do a little tap dance and we've got salsa." Prowl smirked. Bumblebee frowned.

"Thanks." Prowl just grinned in response. After a while of silence, Bumblebee whispered; "That wasn't very nice." "Not with the right kind of chips it's not." Prowl smiled. It was at this point Bumblebee got the message. After years of insulting and tormenting Prowl, he was going to get a taste of his own medicine tonight. And a big taste at that. So he might as well say what he could, because this was going to be a long night.

"You do realise I am going to get you back later." grumbled Bumblebee. "That's fine. I'll just turn you into guacamole and stir you with your own stingers." Stated Prowl, then added; "This is the way we stir the guac, stir the guac stir the guac. Olay!"

Bumblebee smiled. Prowl could actually be quite funny at times. He just didn't show it in front of others. Bumblebee didn't tell Prowl, but he actually enjoyed spending time with the motorcycle, because he seemed to open up more in front of him more than with the rest of the crew.

However, Bumblebee realised that Prowl had actually just insulted him and so changed the smile into a pout. Prowl, however, did not fail to notice the small smile and smiled himself. "Let's just hope that you don't run into any taco bells." He muttered. Bumblebee narrowed his optics at Prowl. "Real mature." With that, Prowl got up and walked out of the room, but not before seeing Ratchet re-enter with a paint scraper the size of a horse. He then heard a yelp from Bumblebee.

Prowl just couldn't resist the urge to shout back; "I believe the term is Karma."


	4. Parking Problems

_A/N: Lots of people have been asking me to continue this so your wish is my command! Hope you enjoy a bit of Walter! (I don't own anything here except the plot - if there is one!)_

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Prowl frowned at the yellow minibot sulking in front of him.

"What's wrong?" The motorcycle asked as he rounded the transformer-sized couch to stand in front of Bumblebee, who had his arms folded in front of him and a tight scowl on his faceplate which would have had the power to stop a clock (if there was one in the room).

Bumblebee offered the second smallest transformer a brief glance before venting heavily and turning his head towards the oversized door.

Prowl rolled his optics before making himself comfortable on the seat next to Bumblebee's. "Well?" He tried.

Bumblebee was silent for a few moments and just as it seemed that Prowl wasn't going to be enlightened to an answer and was just getting up to leave, the yellow hellion whispered a faint explanation.

"Boss-bot grounded me."

Prowl turned his head towards the upset minibot and slowly sat back down into his former position. "What happened?"

Bumblebee stared resolutely at the door and replied, "I was taking Sari to the cinema but I couldn't find a place to park."

Prowl raised his optic ridge when Bumblebee wouldn't elaborate so he decided to prompt the younger one. "Good...what else?"

Bumblebee's frown deepened and Prowl idly wondered if doors could actually obtain scorch marks from looks alone.

"Well, when I was searching for a spot, which took over twenty minutes let me add, I noticed a young adult human sporting a brand new Mercedes Benz zipping into a handicapped parking place, and when he got out of the car there was nothin' wrong with him! I hate that!" Bumblebee seethed.

Prowl nodded in understanding before tilting his head in a way that said 'and then what?'

Bumblebee took this as confirmation to continue and a smug smile adorned his face plate as he commented, "So I ran his aft over."

Prowl did a double take as he choked on dry air. "WHAT?!"

Bumblebee finally turned to Prowl and shot him a challenging glare. "What? I made an honest man out of him!"

Prowl sprung from his seat to stare at the apparently crazed minibot, words unable to form in his processor and his jaw hanging in mid-air as he struggled to grasp the reality of the situation.

Bumblebee snorted dismissively and commenting, "Yeah, and then his mum comes out the other side; starts swingin' her crutches at me!" At this point, Bee relaxed on the couch with his hands folded behind his head. "Took her out with my door..."

Prowl's processor seemed to have stalled and Prowl himself was in danger of either locking up or just flat-out crashing. A few moments provided the ninja with the peace and quiet he needed to do a quick reboot before he completely locked out. Prowl rubbed at his temples soothingly to ease the confusion forming in his processor before lamely (and disjointedly) asking, "But... the cops... they...aren't you afraid...?"

Bumblebee raised his optic ridge in amusement. "Heh. I ain't afraid of the cops in Detroit. Have you seen some of these guys?" Prowl offered an intelligent "Huh?" Bee laughed sadistically, "Cops on bicycles! How intimidating is this: 'Alright buddy, pull over!' Ching, Ching. Ching, ching."

Prowl may have found the bell imitation funny if he wasn't suffering from serious processor damage, yet Bumblebee continued. "What do they do if they arrest somebody? 'Alright get in the basket'."

The cyberninja couldn't take anymore of Bee's dismissive nature and promptly crashed where he was standing; his body making a soft _thunk_ as Bumblebee gently caught his comrade's offline frame and lowered it to the ground. The prankster chuckled to himself and strolled away, but not before picking up a spare data pad and lazily scrawling the words _'Karma indeed'_ onto the screen.

Just as Bee reached the door, he turned one last time to Prowl and quietly whispered, "April fools."


End file.
